Sennadar Forums

I'm slowly starting to reassemble my life. I've almost completely emptied out the trailer nextdoor where Mom was spending the winter, and am slowly trying to put the house back together.

My sister returned to Maine on Sunday, so I'm now alone here.

This time after my mother has passed has been...strange. It was very hard to go through my mother's things, my mother's life, and decide who was keeping what and what we were going to give away, donate, or throw away. It seemed almost ghoulish at times, and sometimes it made us laugh as we remembered the stories behind some of my mother's older possessions.

I'm still having separation issues. I kept my mother's jewelry, which is all cheap imitations, despite the fact that I will never wear it. It just seemed wrong to throw it away or sell it. There are other things I've kept that I have no need for, simply because it was hers, and I'm not ready to let go of it yet.

I've returned to work, and that means that soon, the new daily routine will settle in as I adjust to moving on without my mother.

It won't be easy. I took care of her for years, through her advancing COPD and then through her cancer. She was deeply intertwined into every aspect of my life, and you can't just untangle threads that interconnected without time and patience.

I'll probably start writing again around the end of the month, once I start feeling like I'm settling into a new normal. My intention is to finish the chapter of CO, and then begin Revelation.

Talk to you guys again soon.

Take all the time you need. One step at a time, with time between each step as you need it, until you are back to your stride.
May God, what ever your belief, give you peace.

Sounds like you're doing everything right. Don't push things, just take the time you need. May peace and comfort grow for you as these next few weeks unfold.

I've lost my mom too and miss her always. But I do keep her alive in the many memories I have of her.

I understand heart and soul what you feel, I am still taking care of my mom and have for the last 13 years at least, I have learned so much about her, and myself though out this journey and dread the day I too will have to learn to live again. Hang in there bro there is life after so much time spent caring for another, maybe it is time for you to receive the attention you yourself have given so lovingly. Be at peace you did your best and she would be upset if you don't realize you're true potential. Much respect and admiration for what you have done for love.