Off the writing path.....

[Flame_Champion]

...and onto the voting path. Please make sure you get out and vote tomorrow. Your opinion matters, whether you believe it to or not. Now then, back to your regularly scheduled in between chapter waiting period.

[Lochar]

And on that note, since I'm voting Bush...


A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari sunglasses and an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a     calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."  "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"  "You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business...

....Now give me back my dog.

[Hearly]

heh Funny Lochar

[Shadowhawk]

I've heard nearly exactly the same joke Lochar (it has some elements from others jokes incoporated), but with different persons. It was Polish shepard from mountains region ("baca") and European Union consultant (or blonde who changed her hair color)... and of course sheeps not cows. By the way: Polish sheepdog is very similar from afar to sheep (white curly fur, similar size); I don't know how one can mistake dog for a calf...

And I won't be voting in near future... take a look at my location field... Although I would like very much to impeach my city of origin (Torun aka. Thorn) city president. Stupid [autocensored]...

[AdamX]

And on that note, since I'm voting Bush...

Are you voting Bush because you want Bush in office, or because you hate Kerry?

If I had gone to the polls today(no, it wouldn't have mattered) I would have voted for Nader. I hate what Bush has done to America, and what he hasn't done that he should have. Why is it that he stopped his active hunt for Osama and went after Saddam? Now Al-Qaeda has threatened America that if Bush is re-elected, we get attacked, AGAIN. Why the hell did we go after Saddam when we should have devoted every last resource to catching the guy who actually attacked us? I'll tell you why. OIL. Guess how much moola Bush and his family made off of attacking Iraq. Go on, take a guess...

[Lochar]

I"d rather have Bush in Office than Kerry.  And I'm not getting drawn into any long huge arguements over this, as I like this board and I don't want it to go down in political flame wars.

No offence to you Adam, I don't think you'd do it, but it'd happen eventually.

[Flame_Champion]

Well said, Lochar. Well said...

[avitchel]

Amen, no flame wars needed. Besides the election is finally over. It's been the longest campaign I can remember, and I can still vaguely remember "I like Ike". Been really nasty and I'm truly glad this one is over. No more "stolen elections", "swift boat vets, "reporting for duty", and various other excremental outpourings. How can you tell if a politician is lying? He's talking, breathing, or still alive!
Where are the Fey when you need them?

[J-Man5]

With either one we would have lost!  And it wasn't about a choice of a lesser of 2 evils.  They were and are both idiots!!!!  I personally think the electoral system is flawed.  I'd rather have a choice of a powerful and effective businessman running things.  Just think if "The Donald" was president.  Only on $1000.00  toilet seat.  His.  All the rest from the local Walmart.  

Or if Bill Gates were president.  We'd have to nationalize Microsoft.  Blue Screen of death could be sent anywhere in the world as a threat.

J-Man5

[AdamX]

Someone get me some Were-cat blood and the Firestaff, I'll be the frikkin President, if it kills every politician in America.

[Flame_Champion]

It's kind of sad how things work these days. I'm a registered Dem who just spent the last 4 years in the military, so you can imagine my feelings towards our curent commander in chief. But I'll go on to admit that Kerry was not nearly the strongest candidate that we could have put forth. Even still, I feel to some degree that he would've been the lesser of 2 evils. In any case, I just feel sad for those who wanted to vote for someone other than Bush or Kerry. It's become a 2 party system, and any other party doesn't count for squat. Is that truly democracy?

[NightShadow]

Although, voting for any other party "takes away" (right) from the votes that the 2 main parties receive.

I think another one of the reasons we are stuck with 2 parties is because it is viewed by so many people as a waste of vote to vote other than dem. or rep. I think that if everyone voted how they truly wanted to vote rather than worrying that they might be "wasting" a vote, you'd see the other parties receiving more votes. And as they receive more votes, they will be put more into the public eye, allowing more people to here their side of things, and maybe eventually we'll have someone that's neither dem. or rep. in office.

I guess I can't say too much about it though, being that I didn't vote at all, but that's my opinion on the issue.

[Flame_Champion]

Those are valid ponts, whether you voted or not. Anyway, I'm not trying to turn this forum into a political firestorm, so I'll just leave that as is.