I've decided to stop writing this book unless I receive 50 billion dollars in unrolled mint condition 1944D wheat pennies by Sunday morning.
Dear Evil Rat Bastard,
Ouch! I misread that and thought you wanted 50 billion pennies. I was trying to figure out how I could transport 171 Kilotons of steel back from 1944 in my time machine by Sunday. Then I realized that you wanted $50 billion in pennies, which would be 17.1 Megatons! No way!!!
Funny thing is, getting the pennies back by Sunday isn't a problem with a time machine. The problem is the number of trips it would take. While the net elapsed time would be zero, it would take a year
of my life to transport 171 Kilotons. Even worse, it would take 100 years to transport 17.1 Megatons. I'd be dead by then.
The other problem is that you want the pennies made in Denver. Here at the Philadelphia mint (I should say the
old Philadelphia mint) they could make that many pennies in 100 years. It would take the rinky-dink Denver mint about a thousand years to make that many pennies. I couldn't keep everybody involved enthralled
that long. Plus, I'd get bored with the whole project way before that. Plus, not many people would like you if you forced me to make WWII drag on for one thousand years (although what could they do about it? Revolt, and start a war

).
So then I wondered how long before
you get bored waiting for the pennies. I know what you are thinking. I could travel into the future, retrieve your story, and bring it back. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Can't travel into the future as the future hasn't been written yet (
written - get it?).
If you will just be reasonable, and accept $50 billion in Skittles instead of 1944D pennies, I will send you a PM with directions to the end of the rainbow.
Sincerely,
Steve W